barbara walters just said penis...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
