I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
