Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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