if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize