Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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