Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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