2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
