I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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