He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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