I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
this just has baby written all over it
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
