My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
