I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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