I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
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I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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