yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize