we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
