I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize