We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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