My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
