remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
