guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize