hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
