giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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