Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
