Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
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