what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
