Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
