OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
