he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
