Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
too bad you live with your parents still
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
