he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
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I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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