I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
