So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize