for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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