im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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