i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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