your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
