I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
