i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
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