Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize