I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My vagina is officially offended.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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