Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize