plz talk dirty to me
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
are you so shy because you have an std?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
