Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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