i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
