let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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