i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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