the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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