so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
