you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
