I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
