No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
