K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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