Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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