Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
