we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
