The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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