U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
