are you still at the devil's house?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
